Nelson Mandela once said: “Don’t judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fall and how many times I get up.” A simple premise that has been around for as long as humans have existed – that in order to succeed, you must first fail.
our latest Marie Claire UK cover star and incarnation Actress Zoe Saldana shared in her cover interview that one of her biggest motivators is failure—the desire to prove that she can, and that it inspires her to be a better version of herself every day.
She’s not alone – we’ve seen globally renowned athletes do exactly that, rising from setbacks to success. England footballer Alessio Russo missed a relatively easy shot while playing for Sweden at the Euros last year, only to score an unforgettable backheel goal. Dina Asher-Smith is the fastest British woman ever, yet she has seen her fair share of frustration – she crashed out of the European 100m final last August to win silver in the European Championships 200m. And US gymnast Simone Biles walked away from the 2018 world championships with four gold medals (six in total) after being hospitalized due to kidney stones.
So why, as humans, is failure such a driving force and is there any truth to the theory that it could be the key to success?
Let’s look at the research first. a 2019 paper (opens in new tab)Powered by Northwestern University and published in Nature The journal analyzed nearly 800,000 grant applications submitted to the National Institutes of Health between 1985 and 2015. conclusion? that failure is a “necessary condition for success”, and that every winner begins as a loser.
That said, not all people who fail will use this as motivation for success – far from it. So is it persistence, determination, or sheer stubbornness that separates those who fail and get back up again, well, no? According to research, no – rather, it’s learning from past mistakes and using those learnings to move forward that really matters. “You have to figure out what works and what doesn’t, and then focus on what needs to be improved instead of changing everything,” says Dashun Wang, co-author of the study and associate professor at Northwestern. “Those who failed didn’t do less [than those who succeeded], They really could have done more; It’s just that they made more unnecessary changes.”
Interested in reading more about the psychology of failure and why, exactly, it can propel humans to self-improvement and success? Here, we pick the mind of one of America’s most sought-after psychologists, Dr. Jennifer Gutman (opens in new tab),
Is failure the key to success? We Ask a Top Psychologist
First things first, it’s important to define what we mean by failure. According to Gutman, it can be understood largely as a state in which you feel that you have not been successful in meeting your expectations or accomplishing a goal – anything from breaking a dry January. (opens in new tab) for failing to train for a marathon (opens in new tab),
Failure will look different to each person because we all have different life goals, hopes and dreams.
So, what is it about failure that is so often seen as a prerequisite for success? good question
“Failure motivates us to improve our skill sets in order to increase our chances of future success,” explains Gutman. Not only this, but she also says that failure also helps in building resilience so that we can bounce back more effectively. “May failure help you bounce back with increased positivity and strength of purpose, and may help us embrace and cherish the successes we’ve achieved to the fullest.”
Think about it this way – if you don’t meet a goal at work, you probably need to take the time to assess what went wrong and figure out how not to make those mistakes in the future. .
So what is it about failure, psychologically speaking, that motivates us as human beings? You may think that falling down is just what happens – your confidence takes a hit and you leave feeling down. But according to the expert, the psychology behind failure depends to a large extent on how motivating the failure to achieve a goal can be. “When people have a goal that they fail to achieve, it can be really motivating. The process encourages you to turn in a new direction to achieve what you’re seeking.” Try more,” she suggests.
I can relate to this – I’m a marathon runner who trained for a Boston qualifying time (about 3 hours 30 minutes) for two years during the pandemic. My first crack at a PB, running once again in 2021, was the Peterborough Marathon, where I ran 3h 35. I wasn’t disappointed and didn’t see it as a failure – far from it. Rather, I learned from the experience and saw it as a benchmark in my path to success and a harbinger of success (which, it turns out, would be the 3:26 London Marathon in October 2021 and the 3:19 Marathon in October 2022). See – it really works).
Back to Dashun’s study. So, do all humans achieve better when they fail? Short answer, not all – most. “Studies have shown that those who corrected course, maintained what was working and adjusted what was not,” Gutman said.
major component? She says, “Failure leads to success as long as the focus is on being optimistic, which leads to working smart, not just hard.”
3 Ways to Motivate Yourself Through Failure
So you’ve had a setback in life – whether it was forgetting to pack your kid’s lunch, letting a friend down, or missing your personal best at the gym. what next? Do you let it stop you from doing it for good, paying for hot lunches, avoiding friends and hanging out at the gym, or do you use it as a valuable life lesson?
Gutman recommends the latter and stresses that failure can be a really valuable life tool. Use the guidelines below to avoid making the same failures twice.
1. Be flexible
One key factor discovered in the Northwest study? Gutman shares, “Working consistently on projects without long gaps between failed attempts really improves success rates.”
Which means? Resilience in the face of failure is a key component to future success, as is grit.
2. Be optimistic
Similarly, research has shown that reframing negative thoughts and remaining positive, even in the face of failure, are keys to future success. “Another important component this research highlights is optimism about the continued possibility of success,” she explains. Again, resilience is key – having the courage to start again in the face of failure is key to making progress after any knockdown.
Struggling to positively frame your failure and view it through an optimistic lens? A lot of research has been done on which strategies work and which don’t. “Researchers Fischbach and Aschreis-Winkler coined a process called “self-distancing,” where you self-describe your failure in the third person,” explains Gutman.
try this: Ask yourself, “Why did Jennifer fail?” “Why did I fail?” instead of. study – including this 2019 study (opens in new tab) published in psychological science – has shown that it reduces your negative feelings for challenging events. “This allows us to look at them more objectively and allows us to effectively analyze the possible causes of failure,” the psychologist shares.
Another strategy involves owning your story and using it to help other people overcome unsuccessful experiences. “By telling your story, it not only helps you reduce shame and increase confidence around failure, but it also improves personal satisfaction by explaining to others how you learned and grew from the experience,” she continues. .
3. Don’t be afraid of failure
Last but not least, the psychologist emphasizes that it is important not to be afraid of failure. Why? Because if we fear failure, we can become paralyzed when trying something new.
“Try and embrace the fear and walk through it, recognizing that it is within the fear that we can find our confidence and potential. Failure is temporary – we all fail at things sometimes and succeed at other times.” Remember that successes have preceded our failures and will inevitably follow them,” she concluded.
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